do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
