so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
