That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
