I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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