can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
