PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
