i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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