shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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