dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize