well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
