Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
