But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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