when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
