does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
