Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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