Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
