you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
