i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
my liver is dry heaving
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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