I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
