I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
