I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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