why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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