I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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