i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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