I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
