Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize