THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
