This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
this must be what syphilis tastes like
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
