This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
