I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
