we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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