How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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