You don't have asthma, your pregnant
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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