its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Randomize
