is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
