How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
