Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
