I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
