Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
