Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
