my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
