I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
