wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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