i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
