He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my poor anus
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
