apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
