why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize