No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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