I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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