Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
