i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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