Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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