i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
