oh god the rape fog is back!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
