The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
