one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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