saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
