Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize