she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
