i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fill condoms, not promises.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
