I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She bit a glass in half.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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