i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We're too hungover to prance.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
