if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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