At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There r osticjed everywhere
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
