update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
