Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
