Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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