i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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