Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
