so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize