I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
