What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
