I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
