Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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