Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
