id be glad to
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
