$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
