Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I love you. Go after that dick
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
