ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
